Loneliness well and truly sucks! Lately I have felt lonely a lot of the time and with that comes sadness. Followed by that is a lack of self worth and low self-esteem.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel sorry for myself. I am aware of how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling this way so I know it can only get better if I make an effort to change it.
For most of my life I’ve tried to be someone else to please others. I tried to change to please the bullies at school. I tried to change to get guys to like me and I always went into a relationship trying to be the girlfriend that I thought they wanted me to be. Without realising that they were with me for me and who I already was.
The consequences of living like this is that I have no real clue about who I am as a person.
Making Changes
I am going to change all that though and have already made a start. I’m learning what I like about myself, what I like to do with my time, who I want in my life and what I don’t want/need in my life.
I left a marriage where I felt lonely most of the time. That was a different and worse kind of lonely so I’m grateful that I was brave enough to leave and start my life over again in a new city.
The downside to moving your life to a new location is that I don’t know anyone nearby. The thought of trying to change this is overwhelming. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just stay inside my house and hide with my dog. That would obviously be insane and drive me insane!
I have joined a local gym and a yoga class and I always make to effort to smile and make eye contact with people around me and also to say hello if they’re within talking distance.
This gives me a connection to people around me and helps reduce the loneliness I am feeling.
It’s going to be a long road but I am willing and looking forward to making the effort to change how I feel. I look forward to wanting to come home after a day at work and enjoying being with just me and my dog.
I just need to keep remembering that…
And that…
